Lessons learned

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:35 am

So this evening, I tried a recipe for "moonshine" someone from work gave me. Essentially, mulled cider with everclear added after. Here are a couple salient facts:
1) everclear is (nearly) pure booze.
2) alcohol has a lower boiling temperature than water.
This means that (3) If you pour everclear into cider which is hot, but not boiling, it may still immediately boil off into gaseous alcohol.
And finally, (4) Gaseous booze is still intoxicating.

I am far less sober than I should be.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:38 am

fectin wrote:(4) Gaseous booze is still intoxicating.

Interesting.

That actually sounds dangerous in that if you overdo it, you can't throw up to keep some of it out of your system.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:11 am

This was not an on-purpose thing. It was more obvious in retrospect (after I got a face full of everclear steam).

I'm fine, but yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. My eyes feel funny.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:42 pm

The trick, btw is to add the everclear while the apple cider is COLD, and then bring it up to heat.

What happened is, the liquid was so hot, it instantly turned the everclear to steam as it hit the surface.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 3:41 pm

I learned today that I am creepy and weird by TV Tropes' (ok, probably everyone's...) standards.

TV Tropes forum mod handling my "please sir, can I edit some more?" wrote:It's not just natter, but oddball things like talking about sex dolls on Stupid Jetpack Hitler and forgetting to use proper formatting when citing work titles. Also, we don't need you to tell everyone how perverted and monstrous you are on your troper page.
It's not apparent that you're a match for what this wiki is about. I'm willing to give you a second chance, but only on the condition that you cut out the creepy stuff. This is the kind of thing that gives TV Tropes a bad reputation in the Internet community.

The sex doll thing is totally a real life example of Stupid Jetpack Hitler. My profile just lists a few self-deprecating tropes as a joke (Affably Evil, Chivalrous Pervert, Complete Monster and Ethical Slut).
And apparently people regard TV Tropes in some horrid regard because there are people like me on there who think sex is fair game to discuss and joke about... I mean, wow, if TV Tropes has bad internet rep... what is /b/'s like? (I know, I'm missing the point. It's not how bad something is, it's how bad it's perceived to be, and just because something else is worse, doesn't mean that the thing in question can't be seen as pretty bad itself).

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:50 pm

Yeah. The recipe called for cooling it overnight before adding booze, but I wanted it got so I could can the result. I eventually had to do normal boiling-water immersion on it.

Prak, /b/ has a terrible reputation. Pointing out that you're better than /b/ is like saying that you're less genocidal than Hitler. Regardless of which way the '<' goes, you are demeaned just by the comparison.
Also, the sex doll thing is not an example of jetpack hitler. It was hardly new technology, nor was it a technological marvel.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:54 pm

fectin wrote:Yeah. The recipe called for cooling it overnight before adding booze, but I wanted it got so I could can the result. I eventually had to do normal boiling-water immersion on it.

When I make kahlua, I add the vodka to the mix after it's cooled. To speed this up, I just put the pot in the sink, surround it with ice, and add cold water. With a bit of stirring, it cools pretty quickly.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:20 pm

Neat. Do you have a recipe for kahlua you'd be willing to share?

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 9:26 pm

I assume the recipe is something like this:

Coffee + lots of sugar, boiled into a syrup, cool down, add vodka

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:39 pm

/b/ is the internet's only bastion of true freedom - and serves as a useful object lesson in how leaving people free to do whatever they want does not result in any sort of Utopia. For contrast TVTropes is academic masturbation gone to circle-jerking at internet scale -- while still somehow hoping to maintain the pretentiousness of university Engillish departments despite the bulk of their material focusing on the Simpsons, Family Guy and Anime for 14 year olds.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 1:45 pm

fectin wrote:Neat. Do you have a recipe for kahlua you'd be willing to share?

Sabs is pretty close. I'll have to double-check amounts later, but basically, you boil water, stir in lots of sugar and light corn syrup. Once that's all mixed in well, you slowly stir in instant coffee grounds. Then you simmer it for an hour. Cool it afterward and add in the vodka and vanilla*.

It stores at room temperature afterward for quite a while.

* Use pure vanilla extract and not the imitation stuff! It costs more, but since you're not cooking with it, you'll taste the difference.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 1:59 pm

RobbyPants wrote:Cool it afterward and add in the vodka and vanilla*.

Because I'm ignorant... Why vodka?

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 1:59 pm

If you want a BETTER Kahlua you make a nice coffee, and use that to make your syrup.

You can actually make better than store bought Kahlua that way

Cause you know, Kona, or Blue Mountain coffee is delicious.

Using Whiskey instead of Vodka can also be pretty tasty.

*Because Vodka is high proof, cheap, and flavor less.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:08 pm

I never questioned the recipe my dad gave me, so that's why I use vodka. I'd never considered using whiskey. I guess vodka made sense to me because of White Russians.

Also, I've never tried making actual coffee. I have a small enough coffee pot that it would be a huge pain in the ass for me, but I could see an improvement in quality.

I know that you will definitely taste the difference between certain grades of vodka. I've never put in anything better than Smirnov. I've been told you're wasting your money if you use something like Absolute, but that's just going on what my dad said. I would recommend avoiding using something terrible like Five O-Clock to save a few bucks.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:40 pm

Luksusowa is very good potato vodka, and half the price of anything comparable. It's ~$20/handle, and comparable to grey goose. I didn't believe it either, but it's true.
Papua New Guinea coffee is often off-brand Jamaican Blue Mountain. Not all of it obviously, but if you see a from there that's priced a bit high (on the order of $12/lb), that is probably grown from Blue Mountain stock. Caveat Emptor though.

Has anyone tried using brown sugar?

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:56 pm

I wonder how different Kahlua might be if I use Turkish coffee or Mexican coffee.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:16 pm

Turkish coffee is probably too thick, you'd want to strain it after you make it.
Mexican coffee is what they use traditionally

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:17 pm

fectin wrote: Has anyone tried using brown sugar?

I have not, although that would be the same as just adding molasses with the sugar, right?

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:43 pm

It would. Molasses would actually be better, because of the viscosity.
Since this is Kahlua the traditional problem with brown sugar (changing the color) isn't really an issue.

I guess it depends on your goal for your self-made alcohol.
If you want cheap booze, or if you want better than you could get in the store, for slightly cheaper.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:10 pm

I want better than the store, and am ambivalent about cost, because I'm going to use whatever ingredients I would normally buy anyway.

Brown sugar isn't quite the same as sugar+molasses, because I have a place I can get slugs of unrefined cane sugar (grocery store with a surprisingly good international section). Generally, you're correct though.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:39 pm

Oh. I thought that's what brown sugar is: sugar and molasses.

As for thickness, Sabs, how thick are you expecting the final mixture to be? The stuff I make isn't thick at all.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:58 pm

it should have the thickness of light cream /roughly/ before you add the vodka.

Basic recipe is going to be:
1 cup of sugar per 2 cups of water.

Things like mollasses and corn syrup are going to change that ratio.

But what I was referring to is that Turkish coffee has grinds in it. And you probably want to filter those out

On a side note, I know a guy who makes his own frangelico.. and it is FREAKING AMAZING. I drink it with cream and it's delicious.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:35 pm

Check Wikipedia, it's kind of cool. Generally, you're right (beet sugar + mollases). However, if you can find "unrefined" brown sugar, that means its sugarcane. Wiki lists three kinds, turbinado is the kind I've heard of. The one I'm getting starts with an 'm' and comes as a solid slug wrapped in husks. It's pretty awsome.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:39 pm

I want to make some kahlua now...

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:46 am

Okay! Here are the amounts:

2 qt water
1 pt light corn syrup
2 cup sugar
½ cup instant coffee crystals
2 tbs vanilla (not imitation!)
1.5 liters of vodka

As I said earlier: you boil the water, stir in the sugar and light corn syrup. Once that's all mixed in well, you slowly stir in instant coffee grounds. Then you simmer it for an hour. Cool it afterward and add in the vodka and vanilla.

This won't be nearly as thick as what Sabs suggested, so it might not be "true" kahlua. Still, it's the recipe I have and I love it!

The Gaming Den

Lessons learned

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